January 4, 2006

Chuck Norris Joke Contest

I'm sure by now, most of you are familiar with the facts that have spread across the internet reguarding Chuck Norris.

Hilarious. But I've run into a problem, seems like whenever I search the net for Chuck Norris jokes (I mean facts Mr. Norris, please don't roundhouse kick me!) I keep running across the same ones over and over. Nothing new in the Chuck Norris department.

That's why I'm hosting a Chuck Norris joke contest!

The winner doesn't get anything, just the enjoyment of everyone else's new jokes.

Comment (or post in your blog and trackback) with your contribution. All comment enties will be edited into this post.

Let me start us off with a few.

- Chuck Norris doesn't carry a laptop. Instead, he roundhouse kicked a geek into his back pocket that tells him whatever he doesn't know (which is nothing).

- Chuck Norris doesn't need shelter, he just roundhouse kicks all the rain, sleet, snow and cold away.

- Steven Segal wasn't born, he was a leg Chuck Norris had amputated before growing a new leg.

- Chuck Norris doesn't get dressed, he simple stares his clothes down til the get on him.

- Chuck Norris' testicles didn't drop, he roundhouse kicked them til he had a full beard, and he didn't even feel a thing.

That's all for now...I'll come up with some more to share though.

Update: Original Jokes only please...I thought that was clear...

Update (2/6/06): A lot of good entires...also a lot of un-original entires. Please people, I know how to google, and all I have to do is google your joke and it'll show up other places if it isn't original. I think I'll close this contest in about a month, after which the contest will be closed and winners selected. You'll still be able to post jokes...just not for the contest. Keep 'em coming.

Posted by akijikan at 3:12 AM | Comments (151) | TrackBack

February 20, 2005

Grocery Quirks

Yesterday I was bagging at Bi-Lo as I often do, but I thought of a couple of things.

First off when did "Can I help you out to your vehicle ma'am/sir?" come to mean "Will you give me at least a couple of dollars to bag all your groceries, take them out and load them into your vehicle ma'am/sir?"  I swear, I was helping this one lady and when I finished loading her groceries into her car she handed me a dollar bill and proceeded to become utterly distraught over the fact that she didn't have another one to give me and apologized that she could only give me one dollar.  It's okay, tips are appreciated but hardly necessary.  Though yesterday I did get a 5 dollar bill from one lady.  That was nice.

Second, I back a particular item.  It was a stack of chinet plates.  If you don't know what these are, they are a thick paper plate which won't buckle should you place something heave on one side and hold it with one hand on the other side.  This particular package was called "Chinet Casuals".  Now wait a minute, if these are the "Causuals" then there must be "Formals", right?  I don't know about you, but I would never be caught dead using Chinet plates in a formal setting.  I laughed pretty hard when I saw this and no one knew why I was laughing and it was too stupid to explain too.  Oh well...

Posted by akijikan at 12:57 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 26, 2005

Contradiction and Redundacy

Look at the subject of this post. I'm sure most of you are still familiar those ideas. To me these are some of the largest indicators of ignorance. Not that we aren't all guilty of these things at some point. I know I am, probably frequently too. So I'm probably ignorant. Maybe I'm ignorant because I rely on photos to update this blog.

But what had me thinking about these two things was something I noticed on a test-review I was doing in class. One of the answers contained the phrase "makes logical sense." When I saw this, I immediately thought it was redundant. If something makes sense, isn't it logical by nature? Maybe not. I don't know what the dictionary definition of sense is, but I'm not interested in what the dictionary says. Dictionaries are always at least 2-3 years behind the popular use of a word. I'm more interested in how people relate the word sense and its meaning.

That's another interesting topic. Where does a dictionary get its meanings? It must derive them from the way the word is used by people. Why else are new words added all the time? I see these words that are added and I think people have been saying that for a while. So why can't anyone use any word any way they like? I suppose they can, but often people will refute them. If it's a word that already exists they'll say "You can't use it that way. It means this..." If it doesn't exist people will say "It's not in the dictionary." So the dictionary becomes the choice for definition of language. Yet this is contradictory (to tie this in again) to the idea that language usage by people is what defines the dictionary. Where is this contradiction broken though? It has to be somewhere. Probably around the less educated or even children and teens. These peoples will constantly have new slang. Nobody cares enough to tell them it's not a word, and others will even pick up on the words and start using them. Many of the words recently added to dictionaries have been of this nature and it's a remarkable phenomenon. I believe it is anyway.

I'd like to direct everyone's attention to Choplair and his Kana-no quiz. I first stumbled across his quiz tool a while ago and was extremely impressed. I used it a lot and even mentioned some suggestions. That was a while ago, and not very long ago I recieved an e-mail where he said he added my suggestions and made Kana-no quiz 1.2. I was extremely impressed and this is the least I can do in gratitude. This is a great tool for anyone learning the Kana.

Also right now I'm reading the blog Extraordinary Ordinary Guy In Japan. It's a wonderful blog by a japanese guy written in english. He has a lot of great thoughts that I enjoy. Thanks to Simon (see Simon Undercover in the Blogs section of my menu bar) for pointing him out.

Posted by akijikan at 10:02 PM | TrackBack

October 20, 2004

Amazon.com

So I just spent the entire first period telling amazon.com what I own and rating stuff I've seen/read.

So now it tells recomends me tons of things and I'm interested in them. If it shows me something I don't want I just tell it I'm not interested.

How cool is that?

I also have a wish list.

Buy me something!

lol

Posted by akijikan at 8:43 AM | TrackBack